Most guys I know are pretty practical creatures. I mean, tell a guy your woes and they’ll do what they can to fix them. Whether the “fix” be knocking someone out or fixing your car, men like to solve problems. So it shouldn’t surprise anyone to know that most men consider buying flowers a waste of money.
Think about it. You pay $50 and they slowly wither and die before your eyes. Then what do you have? An empty vase. Usually a cheap, ugly empty vase that’s not good for much of anything except hiding under the sink. Great.
So far I’m with you. Paying $50 for something that’s just going to die in a week certainly isn’t the most practical thing to buy as a gift. Why not spend your money on something she would have forever – or at least longer than a week. I mean, for the price of roses on Valentine’s day, you could buy her a Kindle for God’s sake! Instead (says The Man) why not buy her a dvd of the first movie you saw together? (Romantic!) A cool app for her phone? (Fantastic!) What about that book you were telling her about? (Intelligent!)
Quite frankly, all of the ideas above are top notch. Heck! Most of them are cheaper than flowers. All of them will last more than a week. On top of that, most women would love all of the above. But I’m here to tell you: Do not write off giving flowers to your woman! They really do mean more to a woman than just colorful plants waiting to die. Let me explain..
Top 10 Reasons to Buy Her Flowers
They are visual candy and a daily reminder of you. – I know you’re a guy, but even you have to admit that flowers are beautiful. Everyone likes to look at beautiful things. Top that with the fact that for an entire week, every time she looks at those flowers she’ll think of you. A great way to get those juices flowin’!
They smell great! – Smell is the most powerful sense we have. Not only that, but it’s intimately connected to our memory and thereby, our emotions. She’s going to walk by those flowers and associate good feelings towards you with that scent. Double bang for your buck if you ask me.
They make you sexier. – Yes, you heard me right. Flowers make you sexier. In a recent study, they paired men with flowers, and that made them significantly more attractive and datable. So show up with bouquet of flowers, or even a single flower and boost your chances!
They speak a secret language. – In Victorian times flowers were used as a secret code to show how a man felt about a woman. There are also some great myths and legends associated with flowers that make great fodder for the card. For example, I once had someone send me flowers and on the card he explained the flower’s myth and how it related to how he felt about me. Worked like a charm!
Even cheap flowers buy you points. – Now I won’t say that every woman is like this; but with most women, even the “cheap” flowers will score you points. I know that one of my favorite springtime treats is the $4 bunches of daffodils at Trader Joe’s. I even like the $12 bouquets of flowers you can find at Safeway. Honestly? If a woman turns down her nose at *any* sort of flowers you give with genuineness, think twice about dating her again.
Go ahead! Tell her how you feel. – Unless you’re a big card person, (like my family), or are a poet by profession, it’s unlikely you’re penning her love notes on a regular basis. Use this opportunity to tell her how you feel. You don’t have to pen a novel, but a thoughtful sentence or two, or a nice quote will have her heart racing (and extend those feel-good benefits.).
Flowers are mood-enhancing, production-boosting powerhouses. –Multiplestudies have shown that flowers boost people’s moods, relieves anxiety and boosts production at work. Wowsers! Talk about packing a wallop. Triple threat! So maybe you know she’s going to have an extra-stressful week? Bam! In comes the flowers. Smooth sailing now baby. Dontcha know it?
Giving flowers makes you look good. – I know I said that flowers make you sexier; but they also make you look good in other ways. A study done by Rutgers University found that men that give flowers are perceived as happy, achieving, strong, capable and courageous people. Now how’s that for advertising? Not only are you making her feel good; but you’re looking better and better. Now you’re cooking baby!
The numbers are in your favor. – You want practical? Here you go: 92% of women remember the last time they received flowers. 88% of survey respondents say a gift of flowers changes their mood for the better. 83% say they like to receive flowers unexpectedly. 86% say receiving flowers makes them feel special. 99% say that a person who gives flowers is thoughtful. Good Lord mister! What else can I say?!
And last but not least..women like flowers silly! Duh. – In yet another study, virtually 100% of women who were presented with flowers as a gift smiled a real or “Duchenne” smile. Unless she’s allergic, she likes flowers. Even if she tells you she doesn’t, she’s probably lying and she likes flowers.
Now before you hop on the phone or computer, let me give you a some tips on how to maximize your efforts!
Flower Buying Tips
Make sure she’s not allergic.
Give with reason.
Give for no reason.
Be your sneakiest and find out her favorite flower. (Or just ask her!)
Think green and buying locally.
Don’t give her one of those cheesy flower cakes or weird bouquets. Stick to a simple arrangement.
Don’t just sign your name on the card, actually write something!
If you’re still twitching on the “it’s gonna die” issue, buy a potted flower instead. (i.e. lavender, African violet, orchid, etc) Just don’t complain if she has a black thumb and kills it in a week anyway.
Bonus points! Bring her a bouquet you picked from your yard.
Everyone has bad days; but when you are depressed or your bad days start to outnumber your good days, it can be harder to get yourself back on track. I’m lucky. I like to think that I’m doing pretty good right now. I have more good days than bad, and that’s a huge improvement from just months ago. I have a roommate that is a super positive person and she’s a good influence on me. Some days it’s only the expectations of others that get you out of bed, you know?
Yesterday and today though, have been particularly difficult for me for some reason. So today, as I struggled, I found myself grasping for the tools I have been using to help me stay positive, and I thought I’d share some of them with you.
It’s been much too long between posts and I apologize. There was much upheaval and I’m still refocusing myself.
I have though, worked on another swap package since my last post. This was the Disney Swap on Craftster and was lucky enough to be blessed with a wonderful swap partner. For her I created three art pieces using key words and Disney characters. Tinkerbell is her favorite character and I really do love her; but of the pieces I sent I have to say that the Belle one is my favorite. I also made a tic tac toe set out of felt for her children. The artwork is on a cotton/poly blend and is crayon tinted, hand embroidered and then watercolors were used. I’m not a big fan of glitter, but these pieces called out for a touch of it to finish them off.
Since my last post my daughter has graduated from Junior High and is now “officially” in high school. Someone please save me. Really. I’m serious now. I just got over the shock and dismay of finding out about her first boyfriend and now THIS? Really.
Not sure which quote fits this moment better:
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
– Elizabeth Stone
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn’t. – Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
This weekend is Father’s Day and I have to admit I miss my Dad. We’ve been out of touch for a while due to some old issues between us and, I rarely admit it, it’s hard on me. Growing up I was “Daddy’s Girl” and despite all of our differences, I love him with all of my heart. Unfortunately growing up is not without it’s growing pains…sometimes for both parent and child.
Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. – Gloria Naylor
I’ll leave you with a couple of sites to visit at your leisure. During my recent upheaval I’ve been working on maintaining a positive outlook on life. These are some sites that help me do that.
Ode Magazine – For Intelligent Optimists: Check out their online content and sign up to receive their “Good News” newsletter in your inbox.
Daily Good: Positive news and inspiration from around the world.
Ted.com: Ideas worth spreading. I’m hooked on all of the videos. Awesome stuff.
Well, I hope I made up somewhat for the long break. Hope everyone is dong well!
Starting here, what do you want to remember?
How sunlight creeps along a shining floor?
What scent of old wood hovers, what softened
sound from outside fills the air?
Will you ever bring a better gift for the world
than the breathing respect that you carry
wherever you go right now? Are you waiting
for time to show you some better thoughts?
When you turn around, starting here, lift this
new glimpse that you found; carry into evening
all that you want from this day. This interval you
spent reading or hearing this, keep it for life –
What can anyone give you greater than now,
starting here, right in this room, when you turn around?
In the last month I’ve had a lot of changes happen in my life. Mostly for the better. Tonight, I joined Weight Watchers. Another positive change I’m dedicating myself to. Sometimes I think, when you’re having a really hard time of it, you have to let go of a lot of negative things so you can hold on to the positive in your life. That’s what I’m trying to do now. Choose the positive in my life, the good in my life.
Part of our jobs as parents is getting our children through hard times. Everything from a scraped knee to the kids teasing them at school. Of course, it’s never easy for us as parents. When our children hurt, we hurt. We feel that knee burn as if it were our own and..if we can find that strength within us, we can be the strength they need. We do them a disservice when we don’t give them our strength to lean on.
Remember this. Because there will be those times that you will wonder how you can possibly watch them be in pain. You can’t possibly take one more tear before you go railing off into the night to attack whatever it was that hurt them. Don’t.
I know it’s hard. You want to scream into the night, run straight over to the other parents who have to be responsible for their child being such a monster to inflict such pain upon your child. Again, don’t.
Find it within yourself to help your child find the path that will not only get them through this hurt, but make them stronger. Sometimes all that entails is teaching them that blowing on the scraped knee can help ease the pain. Sometimes you have to just be there for them to lean on as they learn to get hurt and then move past it.
How hard is it to explain to your child that you can’t make people change? You can give them advice, but you can’t make them take it. And sometimes…sometimes you have to just accept that they are going to make a bad decision, and then hope that they learn something from it. A lesson every single parent learns very, very well.
So parents, be the strength for your child in those times of hurt. Show them how to be strong, so that they may learn from it. And then, those times when you mess up, give yourself some slack. You deserve that too.
This seems to be a theme of mine. Trying to remember that hardship can make you into a better person in the end. Today is one of those days where I am having to think very hard about the path yet to come, because the one I’m on right now is making me so very unhappy. Then I come across a picture like this. A simple moment of pleasure and happiness with my daughter, who has made my life so very, very rich. Who could ask of life anything more?
So join with me in my mantra for the day, Douglas Malloch’s “Good Timber.”
The tree that never had to fight
For sun and sky and air and light,
But stood out in the open plain
And always got its share of rain,
Never became a forest king
But lived and died a scrubby thing.
The man who never had to toil
To gain and farm his patch of soil,
Who never had to win his share
Of sun and sky and light and air,
Never became a manly man
But lived and died as he began.
Good timber does not grow with ease,
The stronger wind, the stronger trees,
The further sky, the greater length,
The more the storm the more the strength.
By sun and cold, by rain and snow,
In trees and men good timbers grow.
Where thickest lies the forest growth
We find the patriarchs of both.
And they hold counsel with the stars
Whose broken branches show the scars
Of many winds and much of strife.
This is the common law of life.
In another one of Douglas Malloch’s poems I find a lesson I need to remind myself of way too often. I mean, I think that’s I’ve grown considerably in the way I deal with my fellow man on a day to day basis; but I find that in dealing with myself I am less tolerant and tend to linger upon things I should just let go of. In my search for expression through art I hope to learn to let go more often. Reminding me that the state of today will not necessarily be how things will be two days from now.
I hope that you find inspiration in Malloch’s words as well and find it in yourself to live today for today and not hold on so tightly to the bad things that beset us along the way.
Sure, this world is full of trouble
I ain’t said it ain’t.
Lord, I’ve had enough and double
Reason for complaint;
Rain and storm have come to fret me,
Skies are often gray;
Thorn and brambles have beset me
On the road-but say,
Ain’t it fine today?
What’s the use of always weepin’,
Making trouble last?
What’s the use of always keepin’
Thinkin’ of the past?
Each must have his tribulation-
Water with his wine;
Life, it ain’t no celebration,
Trouble?-I’ve had mine-
But today is fine!
It’s today that I am livin’,
Not a month ago.
Havin’; losin’; takin’; givin’;
As time wills it so.
Yesterday a cloud of sorrow
Fell across the way,
It may rain again tomorrow,
It may rain-but say,
Ain’t it fine today?