In The Continuing Saga..

[Originally posted to my blog ‘Point of Tears’ on Sep 14, 2005.]

Well, at least it feels like a saga. More than a life. Cause isn’t life suppose to be boring? At least to the rest of the world anyway. On weeks like this, I’d rather be a boring soccer mom with 2.5 kids, a minivan, and a husband that spends 60 hours a week at work.

So. When last you left me my dear readers I was stressing about Frank being missing and . . . uuuhhhhmmmm, well I don’t think I mentioned losing my job did I? Well, the bookstore let me go and now I’m jobless. Right.

Then I heard from Frank the day after I mentioned it here. He and his family moved to live with other family members out of the immediate area. Frank says everyone is fine. Part of his family ended up in Texas and he’s in Baton Rouge for the moment. No word on when that’s going to change. I’ve talked to him several times via IM and demanded a phone number I could contact him through in case of emergencies. I also provided all of my phone numbers to him and told him to put there somewhere safe. This losing him like this ain’t happening again.

I started writing this over the weekend and nothing has changed on the job front. I *did* put in an unemployment claim, which surprisingly will be more than enough to keep us in the black for the duration. (one worry off my shoulders)

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve had several ups and downs with my family that have, in turn, saddened me and made me extremely grateful for what I have.

First off, my sister-in-law is playing psychological warfare with me. We’ve been in a fight for a while, but there seem to be more setbacks than progress in this. It’s frustrating for me as I was very close to my brother when we were younger and this is not what I want.

The SILs last dictate was that I am banned from spending time with my nephew, niece, and brother because I am a bad example and very disrespectful of them. I was also told to watch my step as other members of my family had come to her to complain about my attitude. The implication was that if I wasn’t careful I’d find myself ousted from the family as a whole.

Honestly? It hit me for a complete loop. I mean, I know I’m not always the easiest person to get along with, and I can be a little aggressive; but to ban me from seeing my family? ~shock~ I was really upset about this at first. I began doubting myself and how I treat my family. I began doubting that anyone wanted me around at all. It really was rather scary for me.

There is no need to go into any details about the various complaints of each party. Not because I want to keep my tarnished halo, but rather because it really is a matter of two people’s personal perceptions of a situation and their opinions on proper behavior in such a situation. As such, is there really a right and a wrong?

So, after a couple of weeks of letting some serious personal doubt dig into my psyche, we had a family weekend over labor day. All of the family was there except my brother and SIL.

Now, I love family weekends usually. I don’t know if I mentioned it, but I have six nieces and one nephew. They start at the Brat’s age (nine), and go down to eighteen months. During family weekends the separate families kind of mesh and weave their way through each day. Most of us have our “expected” roles that naturally evolved over our years of interaction. My role is that of kid caretaker/babysitter and/or family lifeguard.

This weekend I was sort of dreading. With all the things my SIL had put into her email roiling around in my brain causing some serious self-doubt in my worthiness to be a part of my own family . . . well, I was a bit anxious.

In the end it was for nothing. The weekend joke was that you’d better be careful, Cherie might corrupt you. She’s such a baaaad influence and soooo hard to get along with . . .

Let’s just say that I was able to strip all doubt from my mind about my place in my family. There’s still a lot of work to be done to try and get along with my SIL; but I’m hoping time will take care of that.

~sigh~

Well, I wish I could tell you that was it; but last Thursday my Aunt Kathy went into the hospital and while I was definitely going to go visit regardless, on Sunday morning I received a phone call from my mother telling me that Aunt Kathy had worsened. They weren’t sure how long she would survive.

A major sickness like this means an impromptu mini family reunion. I saw extended family I haven’t seen in years while visiting my aunt. Definitely a bittersweet visit.

As of yesterday Aunt Kathy was moved out of ICU and in much better shape than she was when I last saw her. Unfortunately though, her heart is significantly enlarged, her lungs are having problems, and numerous other problems that come from being afraid of doctors and too stubborn to go in for tests when you really need them. It’s unknown how long she’ll survive and I’ve been told that if she does survive that her quality of life will be greatly reduced. I know I’ve seem to be asking for a lot of prayer lately, but if anything I would ask that her time left here on earth be as pain-free as possible.

Well folks, there you have it. The saga that is my life. Believe it or not, that was only a little bit of too many things that seem to be going on in Fateland.

May your life be boring as hell.

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